THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Can I color on your dick again?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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