we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
