i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How naked do you want me to be?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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