Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
