Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
