The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize