Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
