how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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