omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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