Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
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yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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