Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
