I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
