btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
