I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize