Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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