ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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