can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He? As in you personified your dick?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
