Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
