Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
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I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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