the new term for farting is butt boxing.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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