just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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