i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
