she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize