I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
