that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
