can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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