Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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