doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
