You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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