that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
