When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize