I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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