Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
