I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize