I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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