She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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