Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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