i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Blood and glitter go together right?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
