This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
