The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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