hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
