Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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