YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
