That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
