As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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