he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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