Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
