It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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