Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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