Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
