i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
