Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
