I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
