Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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