She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
