just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
