I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
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