this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
